This Mother of Mine…

 

My mother passed away early this morning.  It was sudden and unexpected and yet we had a few days notice.  My mother is out of state on the other side of the country.  I had major surgery on Monday and called her on Wednesday from my hospital bed to hers.  I am so glad I made that phone call and the many others before.  I had numerous opportunities to say everything I wanted her to know and I know she heard me.  Her service is this Monday but I won’t be able to attend as I still have weeks of recovery before I can get around let alone travel.  It never once crossed my mind that I would ever miss my own Mother’s funeral.  But here we are. I wanted to say something personally to her on that day, so I wrote her the following poem this morning.  It seemed appropriate to share it today as well, since this is the day I wished that I also could have been there.

I drew these flowers for my mother last year when she was also in the hospital. There is a reason one gives flowers when someone is not well, has passed on, married or become a Mom. I dedicate all my flower photographs and drawings to her. There simply are not enough flowers in the world some times. © Britt Conley

This Mother of Mine

Words tap danced upon her brain like candies of possibility.
She mastered the English language while examining it’s long history.

She was different, she was mine.

Her world was full of playwrights and poets, music and thyme…
poached egg breakfasts and the cross word lines,
Logic puzzles sharpened her mind.

Practicing over the keys of past masters helped her pass the time.
She lived for English mysteries, Isaac Asimov and Bradbury,

She was different, this Mother of  mine.

We didn’t always see eye to eye.
We did however, exchange many heart felt moments within our time.

I have to say, retrospect is a bitter sweet find.
I would have changed quite a bit and I would have tried…

I know she loved me and I know she was mine…
Mine in my heart and always for time.

She knew all these things even when we fought.
Long ago we sorted it all out.

We were very close, especially the last few years.
We laughed a lot and exchanged many tears.

I can’t be there today so I give her this rhyme.
She knew she was loved and she knew it was time.

All my love forever and always Mom, you will always be in my heart and my mind.
Britt

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5 Comments

 
  1. Bren
    2010-04-03
    01:41:57

    I am very sorry Britt. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. IF there is anything I can do please know I am there for you!

     
  2. keewee
    2010-04-03
    11:05:08

    Britt, my heart goes out to you in this time of sorrow.
    I lost my mother almost four years ago. It was sudden and I could not make it to New Zealand from USA in time to say good bye.
    I love the words of " This Mother of Mine"

     
  3. Melissa
    2010-04-03
    12:32:37

    Britt, I'm so sorry to hear this news. A lovely poem and thank you for sharing it. I'm so sorry this happened while you were recovering from surgery. My thoughts will be with you. Take care.

     
  4. Susan Older
    2010-04-03
    20:35:24

    Oh, Brit, I'm just heartbroken for you. That's the most beautiful poem; it makes me cry. I wish I had been that creative when I lost my mom. You were her sweet, darling daughter, though. She knew how you felt. And I just know that she was thinking of what you were going through, rather than thinking of herself.

     
  5. Susan Older
    2010-04-03
    20:36:49

    I meant to write Britt. Sorry.

     
 

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